Last weekend we drove down to Washington DC to visit with a family who adopted two brothers from our A and D's village in Burji. The boys were brought to the same orphanage in Soyema within a few months of each other. They traveled together to Addis Ababa and were in the same agency care center. A often shared a bed with the older brother, and D sometimes with the younger brother. They came to the U.S. less than two weeks apart.
Our boys were so happy to see their friends again. Even when they weren't directly interacting - D had a hurt leg, so he was kind of withdrawn all weekend - it was clear that they felt very comfortable, that some pieces of the puzzle that had been askew suddenly clicked into place. Here was evidence that all the crazy, unexplainable things that had happened to them in the last two months had been happening to their friends, too! I think it gave our kids a sense of normalcy that had been missing.
We rode bikes and swam in the pool and went to the zoo and the White House. It was a wonderful visit for mommy and daddy too, as we got to compare notes about the boys and their transitions. It gave us a sense of normalcy, too.
The day after our return A had a very hard, cryingscreamingkickingpinching morning. After he had calmed down, we talked about why he was so sad and I asked if he missed his friends. He said Magano (the dog) was sad, that before she had Buki and Beatrice (the neighbor's dog) and now she doesn't have any friends. I held it together while I was with A, but when I went to meet my new Amharic tutor, I boohooed all through the lesson.
We'll do another visit very soon.
That is so wonderful that the boys got to see their bunk mates! I'm sure it was very helpful for them to see that they are going through the same things. My A always seems confused when he sees pictures of HH kids doing "American" things. I think he thinks he's the only one. My A also tells me that the dog is sad or that L is sad. So hard for them to take ownership of their own feelings. Some day...
ReplyDeleteOur boys love seeing photos of your A on facebook, and since he's a few months ahead of them, he's a great role model for experiences they have yet to have!
DeleteOur kids carry so much loss inside of them...some days it hurts too much and I cry for my daughter when she's not ready to...yet.
ReplyDeleteI bet that was really eye-opening to them to see that their friends have been going through the same strange things that they have. The amount of loss must be so profound, and so hard for them to process. I'm glad you were able to connect them with their friends.
ReplyDeleteMeeting up with past friends must have been such a good experience--and sounds like it brought up a lot of stuff as well. Awesome that you are keeping in touch with them--it sounds like an incredibly valuable friendship.
ReplyDelete