Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Three great pieces of advice

From my fabulous husband -
What does it matter? What if our house is dirty? What if in six months we still haven't finished unpacking? What if we don't get around to replacing the windows for two years? What difference will it actually make? Crunchy floors, the inability to find some things we need, a higher electric bill, none of it actually matters very much.

From Louis CK -
... I go, "Here, honey, have a fig newton."
She goes, "They're not called fig newtons. They're called pig newtons."
And I go, "No they're not. They're called fig newtons." And right away in my head I'm like, "What are you doing? Why? What is to be gained? What do you care? Just, yeah, pig newtons..."

From - I wish I could remember whose blog I read this on.
Say yes. Social norms, inconvenience, laziness, our first instinct is often to say, "No, don't do that." Our children have had their needs and wants ignored so many times. As long as it's not dangerous, try to say yes to them more. Which is why yesterday found my sons gleefully wheeling a garbage can full of dog poop around the front yard.


  1. "say yes" Great, great advice I need to practice much more often ... Thanks for the reminder.

  2. "What is to be gained?" Oh man, I think I need to go watch more of those CK Louis segments...

    My overwhelming numbers have made me say yes WAY more to WAY more things than I ever thought I would. Standing on chairs. Fine. Table is where I draw the line. Standing the grocery cart, I don't give a crap. Really, I don't. They are likely not going to fall, but if they do, it teaches them WAY more than me nagging ever would. I think society doesn't handle this kind of parenting well, though. People cannot handle what they perceive as permissiveness, when really, I am just letting go of stuff that won't hurt them (badly anyway) and letting them learn and frankly, giving them the gift not hear me say "no no no no no stop stop stop" all the live long day. School, church, museums, they know what behavior is expected. I am a freaking drill Sargent. But some things, aren't worth a battle.

    1. Just be careful with the grocery cart. A tipped it over while D was in it, and he ended up in urgent care. Now I'm a drill sergeant about grocery carts.

  3. You have some very wise people giving you advice. I especially like Tabb's.

  4. Yes, yes and yes. It's so easy to get into a mindset of instantly saying 'no' because the previous 8,000 demands and actions have been sooo obnoxious and/ or dangerous. Must try to stop and consider does it matter first!

  5. I have been trying to repeat that mantra (of your husband's) over and over in my head as I look at a house that has never been this messy or in disrepair since I had a newborn. Really, adopting an older child, in terms of time, attention, love, and meeting their daily attachment needs leaves room for little else. And who really cares. Really? Cuz 10 years from now I won't give a rat's ass about the dirty laundry that sat on my bedroom floor for 2 weeks at a time, but my kid knowing we love her in every way--that I will always give a rat's ass about.

  6. My husband and I were just laughing about the 'knock knock' jokes on a recent Louis episode... You are a sponge absorbing knowledge from unlikely sources ;) Not your husband of course! Mine had and has similar advice for me; still, it's hard. Women feel the pressure of having it all together...whatever that means. =) you are doing great!

  7. I lovee all of this advice, especially your husband's! Unpacking is for the birds--get done what you absolutely need, and the rest will happen over time. Easier said than done, right? :-) I need to bookmark this post for the future.