Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Gratitude and successes

Gratitude
  • For our next-door neighbors. They are ALWAYS happy to see the kids and ALWAYS ready to offer help, recommendations, support.
  • For Mekbib. For taking us under his wing at the Ethiopian church and bringing his kids to swim with our kids every Saturday.
  • For the online support of other adoptive families.
  • For T. Right now more than anything he is my partner in parenting. Some days he comes home and I foist the kids on him before I've even said hello. But we have scheduled our first date since last spring, and our marriage is about to regain some of its balance.
Successes
  • We've never run out of food.
  • We've never run out of clean clothes.
  • We've never missed a swimming class.
  • The boys get exercise, books, and some form of art pretty much every day.
Penny points out that most of the relationships I'm talking about are not true friendships and I've set the bar pretty low in what constitutes a success. I decided today not to argue with her; she always wants the last word, so I'll let her have it.

16 comments:

  1. Never run out of clean clothes? Bravo. Seriously. The kids may always have clean clothes, but I ran out of clean socks last week... :-)

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  2. I certainly hope Penny isn't attacking the validity of online adoptive family friendships, those are some of my best friendships right now, and people that understand in ways my in real life friends just can't
    oh, and I'll second that the never run out of clean clothes thing is remarkable, definitely a success!

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    1. Unfortunately she is. Don't take it personally, Penny is a real bitch.

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  3. My mantra this week has been: Everyone is alive and no one has cancer. Tell Penny that the bar can go lower.

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    1. I completely agree and appreciate your comment. Penny, on the other hand, is all about raising the bar.

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  4. They're huge successes, tell Penny to back off. :) It really is quite a change. Considering you are learning to live with and provide for two new people that you barely knew 5 months ago, laundry has at least doubled, and you're helping guide two little people through a crazy new world full of sights, sounds, relationships and activities they probably didn't even imagine before.

    And one is already planning a future designing cruise ships! Think of the level of adjustment he has made to even think on that level and express it to you. You are doing such a wonderful job and are an inspiration.

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    1. Thank you, I really appreciate it! Our kids talk about Z often (we have photos from a trip to your part of the country on our wall). It looks from your blog like things are going very well! I'm so impressed he's working on riding on 2 wheels!

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  5. Clean clothes, art, music and swimming along with food - You are doing fabulously well. The voice in your head can be banished by friends, near and far, "virtual" and in person who love and value you and who see what you are doing and love you for it.
    Hurrah for you. Keep tracking the successes and things for which to be grateful - just seeing them written down makes life feel better sometimes.
    Drink tea (or wine, if you are able), eat a cookie, take a nap when kids do and call a friend. Know you are supported and loved.

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  6. Dear Penny,
    I am a real friend. Sometimes there are only a few people in the world who know what you're going through. Not that many "real friends" have adopted siblings or older children from Ethiopia. You have to reach out a little farther these days. And as for the successes, I think Kyra is amazing for not running out of clean clothes. We ran of out underwear last week and my response was, if it doesn't have a skid mark in it, wear it again! Please cease and desist.
    Sincerely,
    Kristin

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    1. Dear Kristin,
      Are you aware that there are people who not only keep a constant supply of clean clothes, but also iron all their clothes?
      Sincerely,
      Penny

      Dear Kristin,
      Thank you. I think of you often and hope we can meet in person. I may have even told the kids we're coming to visit you. I hope that when and if we do, Penny will stay home.
      Sincerely,
      Kyra

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  7. Seriously Penny, enough already.
    Those successes are real and worth celebrating! That you guys are ready for date nights is a big step; it took us much longer.

    I see you know a Mekbib!!?? That's our son's name and I had never heard of or met another Ethiopian with that name. Woudl you mind asking him if he knows the meaning behind it? I was never able to find anything...

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    1. Meg,
      You are the other person (in addition to Kristin, above) who I think of almost daily. I think our experiences have been pretty similar. We need to all get together one day.
      I'll let you know what Mekbib says about the name.

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    2. Would love, love, love to meet up one day. It means the world to me that I have made these connections; it's so important!

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  8. I think that those are awesome things to have accomplished, and I hate that Penny is attempting to harsh your mellow. She can take a flying leap. And I don't think I commented on the other post, but the cruise ship idea is genius (other than the minor design flaw). Your family sounds amazing.

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  9. I am now flipping Penny the bird. (I will admit that I was a bit behind in my reading and initially thought Penny was your sister or crazy mother-in-law or something. Glad that's cleared up.) Date night is so important, isn't it? And that list of successes is tremendous. This is hard, hard business....

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