Wednesday, January 15, 2014

One and not the other

Our plan from the beginning was to return within the first two years for a visit. Around the 15-month mark, we started wondering how that would be possible. It was very clear that D was not ready. He has come very far, but he still has a hard time with unexpected changes in plans, waiting, and crowded or noisy places. We didn't want a trip that would be ten days of non-stop stress for him. Then it occurred to us that we didn't have to wait until both kids were ready. A is emotionally mature enough. He can handle uncertainty and talk through difficult feelings. This trip could be just for him.

We very cautiously floated this idea to see what reaction we would get. D was upset, but it turned out that he was only upset about A getting to go on an airplane. He didn't really care about not going to Ethiopia; he just wanted to go on a plane again. So we promised him that he would get to go on a plane too. Then we bought tickets to Florida for early March. Shhh... it's a birthday surprise.


  1. It sounds like you really thought this through in terms of what's best for both of the boys. Good for you for finding a solution that works for both. And ooh, they're gonna be surprised about that trip to Florida!

    1. That trip to Florida is really helping me get through the winter!

  2. I think that's awesome. Lucy will probably be emotionally mature before Ayub (JK…well, maybe JK), and I think it's great to meet each kid where they are. And I'm dying to hear more about your preparations.