Sunday, May 1, 2016

Notes from my week off

  • I braided A's hair using a new braiding technique and it looked terrible.
  • Even though braiding takes me a long time, and comes out fuzzy, and A is just watching videos while I'm doing it so we're not really interacting, and it looks better and is easier and faster when a professional does it, even so, I love doing it. I love the sustained physical contact, and feeling like I am providing for the physical needs of my child.
  • When I do a bad job braiding, I feel like I should apologize to every Black mother I see.
  • There is a website by a White mother about how to care for Black hair that is very popular in adoption parenting circles. It's a pretty good website, but there is nothing on it that is not on hundreds of other websites and YouTube videos made by Black people. It's hard to avoid the conclusion that this website is so popular because a lot of White adoptive parents are more comfortable learning about Black hair from a White person than from a person who actually has the hair.
  • A couple of neighborhood kids who recently moved here from West Philly came over to play basketball. Later A asked me if the way they were talking is "correct." I explained that there is no such thing as incorrect language; there is language that is appropriate or not appropriate for a situation. Later A was out playing basketball again, and I heard him trying out some new expressions. It was super cute.
  • My friend was pulled over by THREE police cars because "you have a jacked up license plate." I will give you one guess what the color of her skin is.
  • My neighbor told me about getting beat up by the police, twice, once as a child and once as an adult. Thrown against a wall, kicked in the head. I'll give you one guess about the color of his skin.
  • I redid A's braids and redeemed myself.  My parts aren't completely straight but at least he can go out tomorrow without me hanging my head in shame.
  • I'm not sure how anyone can live in  America and NOT talk about race.

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