Wednesday, May 9, 2012

First days

The little guys were such troopers on the flight home. They slept, listened to music, watched TV, colored, looked at books and only whined/cried a little. When we got to DC, immigration took forever and we missed our connecting flight. The boys continued to do great as we got burritos and explored the trains, escalators and elevators that the airport had to offer. I think they got a wrong first impression of America because there are so many Ethiopians working at IAD that they heard Amharic everywhere they went. We really appreciated all the people who talked with them and made them feel welcome in a language they could understand.

Today is the end of Day 3 in America. We're settling into a routine. As much as we can, we are trying to mimic familiar activities and routines from the care center. Our days right now are breakfast, bath (we will eventually switch to the evening), walk the dog, go do an errand in the car, go to the park, snack, play at home, lunch, quiet time/reading, play at home, skype, dinner, bed. For breakfast the boys prefer plain bread and tea. Bath time that is not done in assembly line fashion is a HUGE hit. Walking the dog allows A to show off his cow-herding skills. Going to do errands in the car has been the most exciting and the most stressful part of the day for the kids. Exciting because they get to go in the car (also disappointing to D, because no matter how many times he asks, he doesn't get to drive. His insistence that tiliq neñ - I'm big - is super cute, but not convincing enough).  Stressful because it's the one part of the day that opens their world up bigger than the house. We've gone to see the downtown area, to the bakery, the shoe store and the library, and they generally didn't like any of them (though they liked getting new shoes). But I think it's good to spend a little time each day doing these small errands, to build up their tolerance. They like the park, which is large and green and quiet. Playing at home time has been good. They relax then. I think it's good we have one room where we all sleep and one room for playing, because it is the same setup as the care center. At the care center there was nap time, though that has translated to quiet time here. The first day was definitely not quiet - why nap when you can jump off the bed, put lip balm all over your face, try on all the shoes in the closet, put lip balm all over mommy's face, flush the toilet repeatedly, put lip balm all over the faces of people in books. Quiet time on days 2 and 3 was mostly spent looking at books. I love that both boys are very interested in books. Skyping has been another HUGE hit. The boys have been skyping with their cousins and if they could, they would pretty much do that all day. If you can make a funny face, put silly things on your head and wear cool glasses, you are the ideal skype partner for our kids.

Our communication with the boys has been pretty good. T and I are nowhere near being able to speak Amharic, but we know enough that we can ask the boys basic questions and understand their answers, and we can explain what will happen next. For example before the shoe store, we could say, "We will go to the shoe store. We will buy two shoes for A and two shoes for D. How many shoes will we buy? Two. All the shoes are not yours. Only two." (The boys were very good about each getting one pair of shoes and didn't ask for any more shoes but then they saw the umbrellas for sale and it was yinei, yinei, yinei - mine, mine, mine - all over again.) Today T was gone all day and last night we were able to tell them that he had some work and would go in the morning and come back at night. So the little Amharic we have has gone a long way toward giving them some security in knowing what will happen next. Also I think today A and I had a conversation in Amharic about early planes and cars and the Wright brothers and Henry Ford - at least that's how I understood the conversation.

There have been three amazing things that have stood out to me the last three days. One, we have these children in our home. We're going to raise them. They're ours. That is unbelievable. Two, they seem to like us. I have no idea why they would, not that we're not likeable, but who are we to them? And yet all day, it's Mommy this and Daddy that and hugs and kisses. And there is testing of limits, but again, for some unknowable reason, after the tantrum is done, they actually listen to us. And three, they are FUNNY. Sometime unintentionally funny - T and I can't bring ourselves to teach the boys to say "brush teeth" quite yet, not when the Amharic word for toothbrushing is fak and the boys like to loudly announce that they're doing it and they like to do it - and sometimes deliberately, great-sense-of-humor funny, like when D switches between tiliq neñ and tinish neñ depending on if he wants to be big and drive the car or be small and be carried everywhere.

So, three days in, things are going well.

15 comments:

  1. So good to hear how things are going. And, it sounds like they are going splendid! Good for you all!

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  2. Loved reading this, so glad things are going well.

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  3. Love this update. You'll all relish in these details a year from now. Our kids LOVE to hear details about their first few weeks in America - they giggle hysterically and ask us to tell them again and again. When you finally do teach them the English words for brush your teeth they might still make another cute mistake and call their toothbrushes "brush your teeth". Our kids still call them that even though they know the word is toothbrush, and I've heard the same from other Ethiopian kiddos.

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  4. This is great to read and know that things are going well. I am so happy that you are finally home with your sons.

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  5. T always wants to drive. One day I told him that he can't even see over the steering wheel. He assured me that he could indeed see over it as long as he stands while he drives! I have no doubt that the pleading to be the driver will continue until he is 16. Oh, and T had a hard time learning our word for fork. The "r" didn't really come out well. Yes, it turned heads. "Did he just say what I think I heard him say?" Sigh, "Yes, he's talking about his FORK." And "enni (look) ma!" "Oh please don't ever day that in public," I would think. So much fun, and it keeps being fun! I'm so glad that they are finally home with you!

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    1. Ha, ha, enema! That took me a minute to figure out.

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  6. Wow! How exciting! You guys are gonna be super busy but happy! Can't wait to meet you all in person.

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    1. Looking forward to it. You're going to be hearing more details than you ever wanted.

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  7. Oh my this is wonderful! I just joined a WHFC phone support group, and a few of our members have just gotten referrals. That group and this blog makes my waiting seem so much more doable. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

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  8. This is a wonderful update. I am happy for your family:

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  9. I'm so glad to read this update! It sounds like things are going well--I'm glad you all made it home safely and that your boys are settling in.

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  10. WOnderful news, thanks for the update. I'm sure your days are busy--your readers are appreciative! Yes, outings are stressful. Looking back I see all the mistakes we made...sigh. I'm so happy for you all! Post pictures please!!

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    1. Hi Meg,
      There will eventually be pictures on facebook - the problem is that every time the camera comes out, a fight breaks out about whose turn it is (it's never my turn, by the way) and then I end up with pictures of the boys looking grumpy and tear-streaked.
      Thanks for the support,
      Kyra

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  11. Glad for the update. Glad for the happy report. You are parenting just how I thought you would -deliberate and loving.
    May I suggest you buy them children's cameras? They are cheaper then I imagined they would be. Fairly indestructible, encourage creativity and, best of all, they keep their hands off of my cameras now.

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  12. I'm a full week behind here, but I am just so glad to hear such a positive update. It sounds like you are all being troopers during this crazy adjustment.

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